May 2013
4 tags
niallhortonhearsawho:
a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
the-vashta-nerada:
so yeah did you guys hear about the ceo of abercrombie and fitch who said that he doesn’t want ugly chicks wearing his clothing
like excuse you ceo of abercrombie and fitch
you look like gary busey went bobbing for apples in a tub of bees
you couldn’t wear your own clothing
tobeymacguire:
when straight guys ask how lesbian sex works i feel really bad for their girlfriends because if you dont understand how to have sex with a girl in any way other than repeatedly putting your dick in her you are having some really bad sex
kiss-my-sassyness:
my uncle used to be one of those people who drove dead people to cemeteries and such
then he became a taxi driver and the person he was driving tapped his shoulder to ask a question and my uncle screamed really loud
“He said hello like he could fuck me through a wall. Don’t get me wrong - he has...”
– Stoya [about James Deen] (via jaraconnell)
Do you ever just touch your face and you’re like wow I can feel the ugly
trueloveisdelena:
Today, 477 years ago, Queen Anne Boleyn of England, the second wife of Henry VIII was escorted to the Tower of London on false charges of witchcraft, adultery, and incest. She would be executed 17 days later by beheading in front of the people of England.
April 2013
monilip:
dont-stop-runninggg:
knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
That was deep
